Can a life coach really help with my anxiety?

We hear anxiety all the time. Anxiety is one of the most commonly used words by my clients who use it to describe their emotional state. Although the term is often used as a noun it can also be used to refer to an adjective such as anxious. An anxious state is one that has the urge or impatience for something to happen.

On the other hand, the noun “anxiety” projects a sense that we are in a state of unease. This can cloud our inner vision and prevent us from taking action. It’s almost like the two terms map their opposites.

Where does the word come from?

The English term is a common parent among older indoeuropean languages. These terms often identify the physical aspects of different experiences. Later metaphorically, they are mapped onto the vague notion of anxiety.

Avestan, the language of ancient Persia, used the term azah- to describe ‘constriction in the throat, oppression or need, narrowness, imprisonment’. Latin’s angustus was a word that meant “narrow”, while the plural angustia referred to ‘narrowness or oppression or difficulties”. Anguare was the related verb. It meant to ‘choke and squeeze, torment’.

Similar to the proto-indoeuropean term angh, anghes was a reference to ‘oppression and distress’. To describe anxiety, the related concept of ‘tightness” is still used in some languages. Cold English used the term “angsumnes” – which is close to modern German Angst and means “fear”.

Anxiety is a term that has been used in English since the 16th century to describe anxiety. It refers to “apprehension due to danger, misfortune or error, uneasiness in mind respecting some uncertainty and a restless fear of some evil.”

The term was used to describe pathological conditions within a century. Psychiatry adopted the term in the early 20th Century. These definitions show the confusion that this concept can bring with it.

It is possible to detect anxiety by looking at the physical reactions of our bodies. This knowledge has been loosely reflected in the historical uses of the term. Anxiety is often associated with anxiety-related symptoms such as muscle tension, chronic fatigue and sleep disturbance.

Coaching clients are often asked to pinpoint the area of anxiety in their bodies. They usually point to tightness in the neck or shoulders. Some feel a tightening in their chest. Others feel ‘butterflies in the belly’ or a ‘knot’ in their stomachs.

These descriptions have a problem: tightness in the shoulders could also be a sign of fear (caused by a specific threat), heavy chest might indicate sadness, and some belly states may be associated with disgust.

This is why it’s a problem. Anxiety is different from other aversive emotions in many aspects.

There are many types of anxiety. The most common type of anxiety is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) by psychologists. However, anxiety can also be used to describe other disorders such as panic disorder (PD), posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), social anxious disorder (SAD), obsessive compulsive disorder(OCD) and many types of phobias.

We will no longer use the term “anxiety” as we are referring to GAD only. Life coaches do not treat clinical anxiety disorders.

Will my Lifestyle Coach help with fear or anxiety?

As I mentioned, the indo-European root (angs) is also used in Germanic languages to denote ‘fear’. This illustrates how difficult it is to determine the exact boundary between anxiety and fear. Complex emotional states are difficult to describe, and can be confusing.

Although prototypical fear is a response to an identifiable danger, anxiety doesn’t usually relate to something tangible or immediate. This means that anxiety doesn’t have a clear object and we have difficulty dealing with it rationally.

How do we deal with emotions when the object of our emotion is not visible, obscured or non-existent. How can we escape from something we don’t know? It is possible to tackle it.

The cloud of uncertainty hovering over anxiety is what gives rise to this objectlessness. This is because anxiety states are often associated with the expectation of an inherently uncertain outcome. An anxious person cannot predict the likelihood, impact or timing of the perceived threat.

There is also a semantic overlap in generalized angst, and irrational fear that stems from concerns regarding possible events (“a worst-case situation”). Some people call themselves “anxious” when they’re referring to similar situations. Others simply describe themselves as “afraid”.

Sometimes, it helps to continue with these statements. “You are afraid about what?” Good grammar. “You are anxious about what?” It doesn’t sound right.

We can still attempt to penetrate this cloud by probing anxiety’s ‘aboutness. How do coaches do this? The best way to do this is to examine each case at its level of motivation. Fears can be a powerful motivator for short-term action to flee, freeze, or fight. Anxiety, however, is not motivating. It is actually a sign of demotivation. This stems from the inability to act upon something that seems objective.

What causes me to have anxiety?

What are the roots of anxiety?

Conditions of uncertainty and insecurity are key factors in anxiety’s emergence. Sometimes the root causes of anxiety can be identified, such as economic hardship, unsafe living conditions or harassment.

Sometimes, however the root causes of anxiety may not be easily identified. It is possible to identify three situations that contribute to anxiety development in this instance.

Anxiety over an unknown threat; anticipatory worry over a possible situation that could occur (such as the loss of a job in the future or the death of someone you love).

Existential anxiety can be caused by a deep but unidentified cause (e.g. internal conflicts, difficulty finding meaning in life, unfulfilled dreams).

Generalized anxiety is often caused by unprocessed emotions such as fear that are slowly transformed over the latency period. This occurs after the original stressor has triggered. Although the trigger may be long gone, it is still important to address the primary emotion. Anxiety lingers, hidden from our awareness.

How do I react to anxiety?

This nebulous state can lead to additional cognitive or physical reactions. Anxiety can cause us to feel restless, have trouble concentrating, and become easily irritated. Anxiety is strongly linked to anxiety on a physical level. It can be correlated with fatigue, insomnia, muscle tension, stomach problems and sweating, as well as mood disturbances like depression.

Personal traits and the degree of uncertainty will affect how anxiety is perceived and reacted to. Our cognitive intelligence will be less useful the greater the uncertainty. The more uncertain the source (and the less control we perceive), the more paralyzed our actions will be.

The inner conflict between the need for predictability and the unresolvable burden of uncertainty can trigger three types of coping strategies: permanent worry, cognitive avoidance, and obsessive plan. These responses can be described as externalization, escape, or internalization (or fight flight and freeze in common parlance).

Why do I plan obsessively?

Generalized anxiety is caused by intolerance to uncertainty. It’s tempting to eliminate this uncertainty. This is known as “closure”. Closure is better than uncertainty, even though the outcome might be considered “negative” in a utilitarian cost-benefit analysis.

Intolerant of uncertainty manifests in an obsession to “know” the future. This is an absurd statement, since no one can know the future. Preemptive anticipation is the result of a belief that one is not capable of solving problems when they occur.

They may feel reassured by the possibility of forming rigid beliefs about future events. This is a form of “fight” strategy. A lot of energy and time is spent on repetitive, often obsessive verification. This anxiety is strongly associated with inability to reach closure. It can be exemplified by the repeated questioning of an already agreed-upon plan.

Obsessive planners are always looking for second opinions. This tendency to over-prepare leads to disappointments. In the face of inevitable reality, a determined conviction is not able to cope with uncertainty. Uncertainty is not possible to compute in everyday situations (a fifty/fifty probability, by definition). It is impossible to predict the outcomes of the relevant events.

This means that most decisions must take place with the information available, even under uncertain conditions. This impenetrable reality is what determinists attempt to overcome by creating (yet imperfect) models of representation.

Obsessive planning can also be affected by an insufficient diagnosis of the anxiety source. But what if the root cause of anxiety is not clear? Obsessive planning won’t provide relief.

Why do I avoid things I should be doing?

This strategy of “flight” seeks to suppress worry. Uncertainty is “unacceptable” and should be avoided. Avoiding intrusive thoughts is a way to “deal with” anxiety. What is not resisted persists, unfortunately.

There are two types of cognitive avoidance. People may resort to distractions to distract themselves from the constant thoughts that can bring back the fear of unpredictability. Others might avoid situations that could increase anxiety.

This “escape” strategy is not only self-fulfilling, but it can also lead to a lot of problems. An anxious person can avoid situations that could lead to negative outcomes and cannot take the first step towards getting feedback from the environment.

Anxiety can be further exacerbated by inertia. These dysfunctional behavior patterns can lead to substance abuse, addictive behaviors, and procrastination. All of these things can further lower self-esteem or cause more serious mental health problems.

Can lifestyle coaching really help me stop worrying?

Worry is a form of “freeze” response. Worry is a chain of thoughts that can’t be controlled and arises from discomfort with hypothetical (or “what if”) questions. These scenarios can be purely unfavorable or catastrophic. These questions are important but they don’t provide any verifiable answers.

Worry is often accompanied by a cognitive corollary, which can be described as a collection of scenarios that are linked together using imagined causes and effects. This mental effort shifts our attention from the present to the unknown of tomorrow or further away. Simple verification of these scenarios is not an option to manage worry.

Each scenario has a higher probability than zero so it is impossible to eliminate them all. This further increases the anxiety.

The act of worrying becomes a way to “feel sure” when you are preoccupied with the future. It’s as if worrying could solve the tension between our ignorance of the future.

According to some, the worry strategy creates an illusion of responsibility and motivates you to act. This belief states that worrying now will help me cope with future difficult situations. It is an illusionary belief.

If one is worried about a particular “problem” ahead of time, it will be difficult to prevent it. Or, perhaps, the (already depressing) worry today will stop a major disappointment later if things do go wrong.

We will be discussing how to deal with anxiety in the next post.

https://life-coach.group/2022/09/03/can-a-life-coach-really-help-with-my-anxiety/